


Heaven Knows

by QueenSabriel



Category: Constantine (TV), Hellblazer & Related Fandoms, Lucifer (TV)
Genre: M/M, Porn With Plot, snark and smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 04:20:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7028284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenSabriel/pseuds/QueenSabriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Constantine wants something, Lucifer intends to find out what that is - and to have a little fun along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heaven Knows

John Constantine was starting to feel like a hack. Gone were the days of legitimately fighting demons, _apparently_ , and here he was chasing down rumors like some supernatural crime fighter from a cheesy television show. Here he was, in a nightclub in Los Angeles of all places, all because someone had whispered in his ear that the owner went by the moniker of Lucifer Morningstar. Though he had to admit, if there was one thing that a club owner might share with the devil himself, it would be the ego.

Not that he believed the owner of this club was actually _the_ Lucifer, but John had been wrong before. Plenty of times, for better or worse.

The heavy house music thudded around John like a particularly rough morning-after hangover. It was packed, even for a Saturday night, mostly young, highly attractive people, some overly wealthy looking older ones, but so far no one who struck John as being any form of demonic. Yet. He kept a seat at the bar, turned to look out over the room.

A moment later a friendly looking blonde slid into the seat next to him with a wide smile, her friend lingering nearby. “Hi,” she said.

“Hello, luv,” John said, flashing her a charming grin.

“Oh my god you _are_ totally British; I was so right.”

John snorted. “That I am. And you, my dear, are very American.”

The girl laughed at that. At least she had a sense of humor. “So what brings you to L.A.?”

“I’m looking for someone, actually,” John said.

That piqued the girl’s interest. Or it piqued something at least. She leaned closer. “Oh, you are?”

“Yes,” John said. “A man.”

“Oh. _Oh_.” The girl looked abashed. “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t – I shouldn’t have - ”

John cut her off with a dismissive wave of his hand. “No no, not like that. A specific man.” He turned towards her, then gestured to indicate the whole of the club. “D’you know about the owner of this place?”

“Lucifer?” the girl shrugged. “I don’t know him personally. Everyone knows _of_ him, and that he’s wealthy and hot as Hell. Er, no pun intended.”

“None taken.” John winked, then motioned to the bartender. “Excuse me – get this lovely lady and her friend whatever they want, put it on my tab.” Turning back to the girl he took her hand and kissed it. “Thank you, luv, it’s been charming. Perhaps we’ll run into one another later tonight.”

The girl stood, looking simultaneously pleased and disappointed. “I hope so.”

As she and her friend collected their drinks and sidled off, John looked up and was startled to find one of the bartenders – a tall, dark, striking woman – standing by him with an intent look on her face. When she had his attention she said, “Why are you asking about Lucifer?”

“Why are you so protective of your boss?” John retorted, instantly noting the hostility in her tone, as well as the way she looked ready to leap over the bar and rip his throat out if he said the wrong thing.

She leaned in a little. “When it’s John Constantine doing the asking, can you really blame me?”

“Ah.” John said. So maybe he wasn’t a hack after all, maybe he did still have the magic touch. “Well, that’s interesting. Now you know my name, luv, how about telling me yours?”

“Mazikeen,” she said.

“Mazikeen,” John repeated slowly. He mulled that over for all of two seconds before reaching the only conclusion he could. That name certainly had a hellish ring to it. “ _Bloody hell_. Your boss is the real deal, isn’t he. You’re telling me this is where the old sod’s been hiding out this whole time? In Los fucking Angeles? That’s...a bit of a letdown, honestly.”

Mazikeen opened her mouth to retort, but a man who was definitely _not_ another bartender stepped up beside her.

“I’ll have you know ‘the old sod’ happens to enjoy Los Angeles very much,” he said, then touched Mazikeen’s shoulder. “Thank you, Maze, I think I’ll take this one from here…John Constantine. My word. Out of all the clubs in all the world you had to stumble into mine.”

“I’m not stumbling yet, mate,” John said, because really what else did one say in this sort of situation? He gave Lucifer a long once-over and decided that on first impression he was far too charming for his own good. Then again, devils do as devils do.

Lucifer laughed, leaning on the bar. “That sounds like a challenge! Though I will paraphrase Maze’s question – What _are_ you doing here?”

“What d’you think I’m doing here?” John said, draining the last of the stout in his glass. “Caught wind of a man going around calling himself Lucifer Morningstar, had to check for myself.”

“And?” Lucifer spread his arms. “What do you think, now that you’ve had the chance?”

John leaned back in his seat and took an excessively long look before saying, “I think I understand why they say ‘devilishly handsome.’ But here’s my question for you; _why_ , in your father’s name, are you running a club in L.A.? You know who’s taken over downstairs in your absence, don’t you?”

“The big red beefcake himself, isn’t it? The ever charming First of the Fallen?” Lucifer didn’t sound impressed. “Good. He can keep it. I meant what I said, I like it here.” He had a drink in his hand, and when John looked down he found his glass was full again.

“Nice trick. Cheers,” John said, lifting it before taking a drink. “And the real thing too.”

Lucifer raised his eyebrows. “Were you expecting an imposter?”

“Cute,” John said. “But yes. Though I should have realized only you would be arrogant enough to actually go around calling yourself Lucifer Morningstar.”

“Arrogant? Really, this coming from you?” Lucifer shook his head, making a _tut-tut_ sound before taking another sip of his drink. “You know, you still didn’t really answer my question. I don’t think you just came here to gawk at me, Mr. Constantine.”

“It’s John. _Mister_ Constantine was my father.”

Lucifer snorted. “Yes, and you hated him. I know all about you. So I can guess that you’re here because either I have something you want, or you’ve gotten yourself into serious trouble and are grasping at straws…”

“Potentially the first,” John said, after a moment’s consideration. “Definitely the second.”

“Well,” Lucifer circled around the bar to take the empty seat next to him. “I probably won’t help you, I’ve been cutting back on the whole ‘deal with the devil’ thing lately, but I do enjoy a good story…”

***

“…so I says to him ‘Look, me mate Rich is the _literal_ descendant of King Arthur, you can’t go fooling me with just any magic sword…’ But as it turned out the sword did have a pretty nasty curse on it so…” John hiccupped a little and waved his hand. “And so here I am.”

Lucifer looked intrigued and highly amused. It was a good hour and a half – and several more pints of stout – later and the two had not moved from their spots at the bar, despite Mazikeen’s best attempts to glare daggers at them. Knowing Maze, however, they were lucky that no literal daggers were involved.

Running his fingers around the rim of his glass Lucifer said, “So in just one week you have the sword, the book, the hanged-man’s skull and….”

“And the bowl of pasta,” John said pointedly, swaying in his seat. “We mustn’t forget the pasta.”

“Oh no, we mustn’t,” Lucifer agreed. “And what? It all just got to be too bloody much so you decided to track me down and see what happened?”

John held the glass to the side of his head, resting one elbow on the bar. “That’s about the long of it, aye.”

“And what’s the short of it?”

“Show me where the loo is then I’ll tell ya.”

“Oh, a bit forward, aren’t we?”

John snorted. “No, mate, I’ve just gotta piss.”

“Right.” Lucifer gestured. “That way. I’ll be here when you get back so try not to fall and hurt yourself.”

The minute John was gone, Maze was back again. “What are you doing?”

“John Constantine is here for something, and I’m going to find out what it is,” Lucifer replied. “Which means doing what I do best, and playing to every last one of his vices.”

“You do realize one of his vices is completely screwing people, yeah?”

“Ooh, I should be so lucky,” Lucifer said, wiggling his shoulders a little. He glanced back in the direction of the restrooms, craning his neck a little. “He does have that ruggedly handsome aspect to him, don’t you think? Maybe I _should_ give him a go…”

Maze curled her lip. “This man has caused more trouble to Heavenly and Demonic beings than…and you’re just…I can’t believe you.”

“Really? Can’t you?” he said, getting to his feet when he saw John coming out of the restroom. “Excuse me, Maze. I’m going to go do something Mr. First-of-the-Fallen will never get a chance to – I’m going to literally fuck John Constantine.” Winking in response to the disgusted look Maze threw him, he turned and elbowed his way through the crowd to catch up with John.

“Your friend there looks a bit upset,” John called over the noise of the club. “Hope I’m not stepping on any toes. Or hooves. Or whatever it is demons have down there.”

Lucifer laughed and shook his head. “That’s just Maze’s way, she’s overprotective.” He caught John by the elbow then, leaning in just past the limits of ‘personal boundaries.’ John caught the trailing scent of expensive cologne, and alcohol, and something that tickled his senses and was just starting to remind him of something when Lucifer murmured, “Come upstairs with me.”

“Not very subtle today are you?” John said, glancing down at the hand on his arm. 

“Subtlety has never really been my thing,” Lucifer said. He took a step back, letting his hand fall. “A night complete with alcohol and a commitment free shag, what more could John Constantine want?”

“I’ve heard that line before but somehow it didn’t sound quite so appealing,” John said with a quiet laugh.  “Subtlety may not be your game, Morningstar, but temptation certainly is.”

“And it’s working, isn’t it?” Lucifer turned around, starting towards the stairs, but held up his hand, beckoning to John with one finger as he walked.

John let out a long breath, hesitating. Then he growled, “Ah _, bollocks_ ,” to himself and started after Lucifer.

Upstairs the sounds of the club were almost completely muffled, leaving them in the quiet, dark luxury of Lucifer’s apartments. However late it was, the lights of the city outside filled the room with enough of a glow for John to see the display cases and make out the relics within them; saints bones, holy weapons, scrolls…he might have been thoroughly enraptured by them if not for the current circumstances.

Lucifer was undoing his cufflinks, taking surprising care to set them off to the side. Even in the dim light his eyes sparkled bright and dark at the same time. Intent and methodical, he started to shrug his jacket off, but while his arms were still in the sleeves John was suddenly in front of him.

“I need you to know,” John said lowly, “that you’re almost revoltingly charming.”

“Don’t forget unfairly attractive,” Lucifer added. “You said it yourself – devilishly handsome.” He started to lean back, but found John’s hand cupping the back of his head, holding him there.

There was no moment wasted; John kissed him hard and open-mouthed, fingers curling in his hair, other hand moving to push his jacket the rest of the way off. Not breaking the kiss he grabbed at the front of Lucifer’s shirt, fingers sliding over silk and mother-of-pearl buttons until he caught hold – and found another hand pressing over his.

“Careful,” Lucifer murmured, lips brushing over John’s. “I’m not sure you could afford to buy me a new one.”

“Y’ve got to be fucking - ”

“Oh I haven’t even started.” He kissed John again then pushed him back, reaching up to start unbuttoning his shirt. “Now, Hellblazer – on the bed or on your knees, you pick.”

John smirked, loosening his tie as he stepped backwards. The back of his knees hit the bed and he let himself fall onto it, propped up on his elbows. “Ah, now don’t look so disappointed…”

“Who said anything about disappointed?” Lucifer asked, tossing his shirt aside and starting on his belt. Unabashedly he let his gaze travel the length of John’s body, the corner of his lips curving in the hint of a smile. Stepping out of his trousers, he put one knee on the bed and leaned over the other man, kissed him fleetingly and murmured, “If I’m disappointed about anything it’s the fact that you’ve still got all your clothes on.”

“I did take me tie off,” John said, flinging said item to the floor before tugging Lucifer down into another bruising kiss.

Lucifer leaned into this one, resting his weight on one hand while the other started on John’s trousers, managing to push them down and off with only minimal help from John. Then he paused, trailing his lips down John’s throat as he moved a hand to cup him through his boxers.

John’s head tipped back and he let out a sigh of, “Oh _fuck_ me…”

“Is that what you would like?” Lucifer murmured, satisfied as he could feel John hardening under his touch. “For me to fuck you until you can’t think straight?” He lifted his head, looking John in the eye and said lowly, “Tell me, John Constantine, _what_ do you want?”

For a split second John’s expression slackened, then all at once the mischief and lust and fire rushed back into his eyes as he growled, “I want you to fuck me senseless, Morningstar.”

Not exactly the answer he had been looking for, but Lucifer certainly wasn’t going to refuse. He stood, retrieving a few things from the bedside table and tossing them onto the bed before returning to his place above John, who had flung his shirt off by then. Lucifer looked down at him again, brushing his fingertips over the tattoos sprawling across John’s skin, lingering in particular on a line of Enochian script.

“Don’t you go getting sentimental on me now,” John said when he noticed what had caught Lucifer’s attention.

“ _Sentiment_ ,” Lucifer hissed. Abruptly changing tact, he grabbed John’s wrists and used one hand to pin them above his head. He put one knee between John’s legs, then let out a satisfied, short groan as John thrust up against him. Lowering his head, he caught John’s lip between his teeth for a moment, then forced his mouth open, sliding his tongue over John’s, pushing his head back into the mattress. John let out a groan, digging his fingers into Lucifer’s shoulders as they kissed, and he pulled him closer, thrusting his hips upward again.

When Lucifer finally drew back, John was breathing heavily. “Touch a nerve there, did I?”

“Turn over,” Lucifer said.

John rolled onto his stomach and reached up to toss Lucifer the small bottle of lube from the items he had strewn on the bed. Taking only a second to remove the last of their clothes, Lucifer slicked some of the contents of the bottle onto his fingers. He looked down again at John who was now propped up on his elbows, back muscles taught.

“Enjoying the view?” John said hoarsely.

“I’ll be enjoying it more in a minute,” Lucifer replied, sliding a finger into him.

“ _Fuck_ ,” John grunted, hips bucking a little against the bed. He swallowed thickly and dropped his head, letting himself relax and adjust. And Lucifer waited patiently – who knew the devil would be such a considerate partner in bed. Finally, though he wasn’t sure exactly how long, John nodded, and Lucifer must have gotten the hint because a second later he was easing another finger into him, slowly and carefully moving them, spreading him coaxingly while John’s body seemed to thrum with the sensation of it all.

John clutched at the blanket, his cock hard, the rest body contracting then relaxing in response to Lucifer’s fingers pressing into him. After a little while longer, anticipating what Lucifer’s next request would be, he reached up and felt around blindly until his hand closed on one of the condoms strewn nearby, passing it back over his shoulder.

“Good boy,” Lucifer practically purred, kissing the back of his neck. He drew his hand out, giving John a moment to catch his breath while he prepared himself. 

Closing his eyes, John took another careful breath when he felt Lucifer’s hand on his hip, then cursed softly when he began to push into him. As with before Lucifer took his time, holding onto John’s hips and slowly easing in.

 “It’s… _ah_ …It’s been a while,” John panted, bunching his fists in the blanket.

Lucifer slid one hand along John’s spine, bending over him. “Good though?” he breathed, his tone just shy of mocking. He pulled back, then gave a short thrust back in. “I’m not too much for you?”

“Bite me,” John replied breathlessly.

 “As you wish.” Lucifer thrust into him again, this time nipping at John’s shoulder then biting down, just hard enough to leave a bruise. He drew his hand back, then slid it around to grasp John’s cock, stroking him as he began to move in earnest.

John gasped. He swore, he realized that he was letting himself be complete undone but _fuck_ did it feel good. He began to push back into Lucifer, feeling the tightness of Lucifer filling him, the low heat building in his body, ceasing to care. And Lucifer was everywhere – fucking him, stroking him, lips brushing against his skin, his low panting gasps audible over John’s own sharp, moans.

“I want to hear you say it, Hellblazer,” Lucifer whispered, tightening his grip on John’s cock as he continued to stroke it. “Say it.”

“ _Ah…_ ah fuck-!” John sucked in a shuddering breath. “ _Fuck_ , Morningstar, I’m…I’m going to come… _please_ …”

Lucifer groaned, obligingly picking up his pace until John let out a particularly loud moan, spilling across his hand and the sheets below him. It was only a few thrusts later that Lucifer followed, letting out a slightly more controlled sound, his head lolling back as he let himself enjoy the moment.

Then, finally, with John half collapsed on the bed, Lucifer drew out of him, removed the condom and discarded it, and got to his feet.

With mild difficulty, John rolled over onto his back, folding one arm behind his head. “Dunno how you’re still standing, mate.”

“Don’t take it personally,” Lucifer said, smirking. “That was _very_ good. I just happen to be an immortal being with incredible stamina.”

John let out a tired laugh. “Suppose you’re allowed a bit of bragging after that show. Here,” he made a vague motion with one hand. “Pass us the trench coat, will ya?”

Raising an eyebrow, Lucifer stepped over to pick John’s coat up off the floor and toss it to him. “I’ll grab us a couple of washcloths while I’m up too, shall I?”

“Sexy,” John replied, managing to prop himself up on one elbow. By the time Lucifer came back John had a cigarette dangling from his lips. “Y’don’t mind do you? I brought enough to share.”

Lucifer walked over and leaned over, taking the cigarette from John, then bringing it to his own lips to take a drag. “Just don’t set my bed on fire,” he said, nodding to a silver ashtray on the nightstand.  “And here, clean yourself up.”

***

John had not planned on staying the night. This was not the sort of circumstance where staying the night seemed like a good idea, but the bed was so comfortable and there was nothing like a good fuck and a cigarette to remind you how much you needed to actually sleep in a real bed that wasn’t in a run-down roadside motel.

And, of course, there was the benefit of waking at some point in the night to Lucifer’s mouth on his, hands pulling their hips together as they began to move against one another again.

***

The pale blue grey of pre-dawn filtered into the room, casting it in a much different atmosphere than the previous night. John sat up, trying to see if there was a clock somewhere. He spotted one on the sideboard – just past six a.m., far too early for his liking. But the spot beside him on the bed was empty. He craned his head towards the bathroom door, wondering with a little chuckle if Lucifer even needed to use the toilet. Silence.

John stood. He stretched, then walked over to pick up his boxers from the floor and pull them on before locating the rest of his clothing and getting dressed. Then he stopped, standing in the middle of the room and listened – but there was no hint of Lucifer returning.

“Alright,” John muttered to himself as he began scanning the glass display cases decorating the room. “Let’s see what we’ve got…”

Lucifer did return, of course, because he wasn’t stupid. He also was not in the least surprised to find John lifting the lid on one of the cases. “Most people are smart enough not to steal from me, even when I leave them alone in my bedroom.”

Dropping the lid with a sharp noise, John turned, looking startled. Then he chuckled. “Ah, well now, I’m not most people, Lucy, you should know that.”

“Oh I do know that,” Lucifer said, circling around. He peered into the case and raised his eyebrows. “Thorns from Christ’s crown,” he said. “Smart move. But I know exactly how many are supposed to be in there so…” he held out his hand. “Give them up.”

“Ah you caught me.” John dropped two thorns into Lucifer’s hand with a sheepish grin. “Gonna punish me now for being such a naughty boy?” He took his cigarette box out of his pocket, tapping one into his hand.

“As tempting as the idea of spanking you might be,” Lucifer said. “I’m afraid I’ve got to dash, my new hobby is helping the police and a body just turned up, very mysterious – no don’t look interested, you can’t come along.”

John pretended to look put out, taking a long, sullen drag on his cigarette.

Lucifer stepped closer to him. “Are you in L.A. for a while?”

“What’s it to you?” John asked.

“I was going to say you’re welcome back if you’d like to do this again,” he said, taking John’s cigarette so he could kiss him, dragging his teeth along John’s lower lip. “You’re a good fuck, John Constantine.”

“Ooh, says Lucifer himself, I’m flattered.” John winked, bending over to grab his coat and sling it over one shoulder. “I’m sure we’ll run into each other again, Morningstar.”  With one last smirk he turned and strode out of the room.

Lucifer watched him go, then turned to put the thorns back in their case and close the lid. He looked at it for a long moment, then turned and headed downstairs himself.

Maze was sitting at the bar, going over some papers. She glanced up when Lucifer joined her. “I take it you had a good night.”

“You don’t need to sound so bitter about it,” Lucifer said with a grin. “He really is quite charming. And good in bed.”

“So I hear.” She turned to look at him, resting one elbow on the bar. “Did you find out what he was after?”

“Thorns,” Lucifer said. “Don’t worry, I didn’t let him take them. He was a bit obvious about it though…what? What’s with that look?”

Maze sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You know,” she said, sliding off her seat. “I don’t think his friends call him ‘Con Job’ just because it sounds like his name. I realize you’re still enjoying that post-coital bliss but use your brain.” She patted his shoulder, taking the papers back into the office.

Lucifer frowned for a moment, then sighed. “ _Bollocks._ ”

***

It was six days until John reappeared again. Coming back to the club late after a not particularly pleasant conversation with Chloe, Lucifer felt almost relieved to spot the familiar trench coat at the bar. Even if it meant trouble, he was at the very least guaranteed a distraction.

Striding over, Lucifer put his hand on John’s shoulder and leaned in to say, “St. John Chrysostom. More specifically his left femur.”

“Ah, figured it out did you?” John turned to grin at him. “Don’t worry, I gave it back to your lovely but sour faced friend Maze. Mostly because she said she’d gut me before I had a chance to sit down if I didn’t. But - ” he tapped Lucifer’s chest with one finger, “I was planning on bringing it back all along. I just needed to borrow it.” He gestured. “I believe Maze put it in your office if you want to check.”

Lucifer straightened, intending to do just that. He wiggled a finger at John. “I’ve got my eye on you, Constantine.”

“I’m flattered,” John said. He waited until Lucifer had rounded the corner before he got up and quickly followed him.

The office was small, but matched the feel of the rest of the place. When John slipped in, Lucifer was just setting down the package he had brought with him. Without turning from where he stood facing the desk Lucifer said, “I _would_ thank you for bringing it by, but you don’t get points for doing the right thing.”

“How about for making it up to you?” John asked, closing the door behind him.

Lucifer turned, watching him with a half-smile. “I suppose that depends…”

“Now,” John said slowly, shrugging out of his coat and tossing it onto a chair. “I’m a man who likes to explore all his options. And you did give me two of them the last time we met.” He moved so he was all but pressed up against Lucifer, one hand on the desk on either side of him. 

"Just watch yourself,” Lucifer murmured, sliding his hand up to grip at John’s hair. “Hm?”

John chuckled lowly. “Never,” he said, leaning in to attempt a kiss.

Lucifer, however, tugged his head back again. “Ah-ah,” he said.

“Fair enough, penance first,” John said, looking far too pleased. He remained close, but reached down to unbuckle Lucifer’s belt. “You may have left Hell but you do still like to be in control, don’t you?”

“Spare me the psychoanalysis,” Lucifer said. “I already have someone for that.”

“Well, good thing I have other talents…” John said, sliding his hand into Lucifer’s trousers.

“So does she,” Lucifer replied, but his laugh caught in his throat a little as John curled his fingers around his cock. Taking a steadying breath, Lucifer said, “Enough talking.”

John smirked, drawing him out of his trousers to give him a few encouraging strokes. He wet his lips, winked and knelt, trailing his hands down Lucifer’s body as he did. Feeling Lucifer’s hands tangling in his hair, he closed his lips around the devil’s cock, taking him in until his nose was against the other man’s skin. The fingers tightening in his hair were enough encouragement and John began to move, drawing his head back, then in again, throat relaxing to take Lucifer as much as he could.

Above him Lucifer was leaning back against the desk, his breaths coming hard and heavy. Glass cabinets lined the wall to his left and out of the corner of his eye Lucifer could see their reflection in the doors; John Constantine on his knees, head bobbing as he sucked him off. Lucifer let out a breathy laugh that quickly turned into a low moan as he spilled into the man’s mouth, hips giving an involuntary little buck forward.

And John licked him clean then stood, swallowing as he did. “Cheers, mate,” he said, mouth curling into one of those infuriatingly smug grins of his.

“You’re such a bastard,” Lucifer replied, chuckling, eyes sparkling in amusement as he pulled John in to kiss him. He could taste himself on John’s lips and tongue, and let the kiss deepen as he let himself relive the last few minutes – the faint, wet sounds, the way John’s head felt moving under his hands, of course the rush of release…

“We’re good then,” John said as he drew back and straightened his clothes. Moving to pull his coat on he added, “I may be back though, Morningstar.”

Lucifer glanced up from tucking himself back into his trousers and buckling his belt. “Oh dear, don’t you go having _feelings_ about me, Constantine, that won’t end well for either of us.”

“Feelings?” John gave him a bemused, disbelieving look. “I’m not an idiot, _Lucy_. You’re the devil, you’re probably the only being in existence who’s life I can’t absolutely ruin by fucking around with. That’s why I’ll be back.” He leaned closer to say quietly, “I’m not your little detective friend. I’m not falling in love with you.”  Winking, he turned and stepped out of the office.

Lucifer scowled. “John!” he shouted, but the other man was already out of sight. Shaking his head, Lucifer instinctively felt his pockets…and his expression turned from mild confusion to outright annoyance. Scowling even deeper he hurried back out into the club, where he just spotted John’s retreating back. “ _John Constantine_!”

Maze looked up from where she was pouring a drink from someone. Several other people glanced over as well.

John himself stopped, and when he looked back it was with the biggest shit-eating-grin Lucifer had ever seen a mortal wear. “…Yes, luv?”

“Give it back,” Lucifer said, holding his hand out. “Now.”

John took a cigarette from his pocket and stuck it, unlit, in the corner of his mouth. He turned around. “What? Your cum? I doubt I can do that. Though oddly enough you aren’t the first immortal being to - ”

“ _No_. The fucking coin, John. Hand it over.”

“Dunno what coin you’re talking about,” John said, not very innocently.

Lucifer strode over to him. “Give. It. Back.” He growled.

John seemed to take a long time to calculate the situation before he reached into an inner pocket of his coat and take out the Pentecostal coin. “It’s a pity, this would’ve been so useful for me,” he said, flipping it over the backs of his fingers before tossing it to Lucifer.

“Dare I ask how…?” Lucifer said, looking the coin over before returning it to his pocket.

“Nicked it while you were too busy shoving your cock down me throat,” John said. “ _I_ , thankfully, can multitask.” He gave Lucifer a once over and added, “You’ve gotta know I’m just fucking with you at this point. You make it too easy.”

Behind Lucifer Maze let out a sound of pure disgust and contempt, and muttered something that sounded like, “your own damn fault.”

Lucifer shook his head. “You’re an ass, John Constantine.”

“Probably. But, I’m also really good at what I do.” John wiggled his pinky at Lucifer in a small wave. “See you around, Morningstar.” And with that he turned and actually left, vanishing into the crowd, leaving Lucifer staring after him for a long moment.

“Fuck me,” sighed the former ruler of Hell. “Fuck. Me.”


End file.
